Saying Good-bye……….June 2009, Yes, I’m Crying!

While we were in Northern Uganda Joseph had the opportunity to meet Acholi people.  They look quite different from him, and speak another language.  Joseph made friends quickly.  This is a young man (he is in a wheelchair but you can't tell) that Joseph got to know.  He lives at St. Jude's orphanage when he is not in school attending University.

For the last 2 months, the status of IR4 immigrant visas has been at a standstill.  Although we have been pressing forward full steam ahead we knew that until the visa situation was sorted out, we may not get Joseph home in time before he turns 16.  Well, below is an update from the US State Department's website.  It sounds like there may be a chance that as long as our order is written by the judge to state specific things, we may be able to get the visa.  This could be very good news.  It sounds too good to be true, so we are remaining cautious.  The last few days have been some of the hardes in the whole process.  We are working to get through them.  We have decided to have Shawn travel to Uganda.  This is going to be very difficult for us in many ways.  Since he is self employed we have no "vacation" time.  We ask for your prayers during this time.  Pray for a quick court date, pray for the visa situation, and mostly pray for Joseph.  He has been very sick. 

Status of Adoptions from Uganda

April 15, 2010

United States Citizenship and Immigration Service (USCIS) regulations in 8 CFR 204.3(d) require that, in order for Petition to Classify an Orphan as an Immediate Relative (Form I-600) filed by prospective adoptive parent(s) to be approved, the prospective adoptive parent(s) must provide proof of a full and final adoption or custody of the child for emigration and adoption abroad in accordance with the laws of the foreign-sending country.

The Government of Uganda advised the U.S. Embassy in Kampala on March 16, 2010 that legal orders for guardianship issued by Ugandan courts that do not contain specific language authorizing emigration and overseas adoption should not be construed as sufficient to allow Ugandan children to depart Uganda to be adopted abroad. In the past, the U.S. Government has treated Ugandan guardianship orders that did not contain such language as sufficient to underpin the approval of the I-600 petition and immigrant visa, but based upon this clarification from the Government of Uganda, explicit language authorizing emigration and adoption abroad must now be included. Effective immediately, if an I-600 is filed with a guardianship order that does not include authorization for emigration and adoption abroad, the petition will not be approvable unless or until the petitioners are able to provide a corrected guardianship document.

When we were in Uganda Joseph often listened to music on our drivers phone.  It wasn't very loud, so you would often see him holding it up to his ear.  We were in the car A LOT!  Sometimes, the music on the phone would get a little old, that is, until we realized that he was listening to the same song over, and over.  When we realized why he was listening to the song, he was thinking about us, it was really emotional.  Here we are, ready to leave him, again and he was clinging to the song.  Not all of the words apply, but the part that says, "I'll be right here waiting for you" really hits home. 

Oceans apart day after day
And I slowly go insane
I hear your voice on the line
But it doesn't stop the pain

Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you

We have not shared the news of our adoption journey with very many people.  Why? Well there are many reasons, but number one is WE JUST DON'T KNOW.  That is, we don't know when our court date is, when the visa issue will be resolved, if the visa issue will be resolved, and sadly, if we will get the favor we need to get Joseph home before he is sixteen.  Writing this, I can barely control my emotions.  Just saying the words, "if he gets to come home" is enough to knock the wind out of me.  Will he ever know how much he was wanted, how hard we tried?  Day in and day out the world keeps on turning and all I hear, see, think and feel is this adoption.  I just think it would be too much for me to face the questions if everyone new.  I went to the gym this morning with my happy face on after hearing some bad news in the Ugandan adoption world and it was all I could do to keep it together.  I have told a few people and their support has been invaluable.  I've told a few family members and their response has been pretty positive.  I think the difference with an older child is the reaction you get from others.  Some people just don't know how to react.  There are some people you tell and they never mention it again.  That hurts.  My life, my world is revolving around this adoption.  Joseph's hopes and dreams rest upon my shoulders and the only person who can lift that burden is my Maker.  I find myself crying randomly, praying, pleading, even begging.  I will survive if this doesn't work out, but I fear for Joseph.  The abandonment he has already dealt with in his life does not need to be compounded by the promises we have made possibly going unfulfilled.  The only people who have read this are most likely from the adoption world, I haven't given the blog out to very many people with the exception of a few close friends.  Any advice?  Yes, I'm whining.................I can't help it.  I feel sick about it. 

Malaria..............a silent killer of millions.  Today, my son has malaria, but he is not a statistic.  He is a living, breathing, loving beautiful boy.  It killed me today to talk to him, you could hear the weakness in his voice.  I told him today that in America we don't have malaria.  I told him that the next time he was sick I would take care of him.  I hope I can keep those promises.  I hope.