Court..............
I never want to forget the miracles that took place to get me to Africa with a 2 hour notice.  My family and I were on vacation at my brothers house in Idaho Falls.  We were getting up early Monday AM to head to Yellowstone. Before the trip I believed it would be impossible to get a court hearing because courts were closing July 16.  But, big but, just in case I threw in my passport and a binder of documents.  Other  than that,I didn't have much of anything useful to me in Uganda.  I was sound asleep Monday Am and Shawn burst into the bedroom and said, "Get up, we got an e-mail from our lawyer in the middle of the night and she had to know 2 hours ago if you can be to Uganda by Wed. AM".  I totally freaked out! I hopped on the computer and started looking at flights.  Idaho Falls is not a booming metropolis so the airport is tiny.  I found one flight that would work, but it left in 2 hours.  Not only that, but it was 7,000 USD.  But, we called the lawyer and said yes.  How could we possibly say no?  So many people would die to be in our shoes and we had to make it work.  After that I did an internet search for adoption travel agencies and they were able to get my ticket price cut in half.  I am leaving out so many little miracles due to time, but know they were there!  Got to London with a 9 hour layover and then when headed to the plane ran into the captain on the tram and jokingly asked him to get me there on time as I had a court appt. at 9 and flight arrived at 7:45.  Imagine my surprise when I checked in and the captain had upgraded me to first class so I could rest and be closest to the exit row so I could get off the plane quickly!  The plane ended up landing late, at 8:45.  Yikes!  But, the man I sat next too on the plane told me to leave my bag on the carousel and he would pick it up and I could get it from him later.  That was quite interesting (getting the bag) as we had such a hard time finding him later, but I did get the bag and was soooooo grateful!  Another miracle!  Everywhere I went on the journey I met people who strengthened me.  I sat next to a church group and one of the girls gave me three beautiful versus written down so I could read them and give myself strength.  It worked!  So, when I got to the airport, Kiganda, my trusted friend and driver picked me up and we ran to the car.  He sped through town and we arrived just before 10.  I wasn't prepared properly to meet Joseph's grandmother for the first time, but there she was.  First, Joseph tackled me and broke my back hugging me so hard. We went into this small waiting room and waited for Justice O to call us in, and waited and waited.  Hours later she called us in.  She never spoke to Joseph or me. She never once smiled.  She told us to come back on 23rd at 10 am for the ruling for Legal Guardianship.  I am anxiously waiting to figure out what I'm doing.  When arriving I had no where to sleep and the Mormon Missionaries who I met a year ago invited me for the night.  I felt so happy to be with them.  It was like stepping into my own families home.  I had dinner with a bunch of couples and it was delicious.  I took an Ambien and made it sleeping until 3am.  I'm on their internet typing as fast as I can I as I actually have a connection.  Todays list, figuring out where to stay and buying some supplies.  Sad note, a friend who we worked with last year when here was killed in the bombing.  Things feel very safe to me, but am still being vigilent.  The church has sent people to evaluate if it's safe to keep missionaries here.  I def. feel it is.  Please continue to pray like mad.  If you know Shawn, please reach out to him when they get home on Sunday.  He is going to need helping hand.  Since he is self employed he has no vacation and we were doing a 2 week vacation when I left so he needs to work.  Thanks for your love and prayers!

We have been on vacation for the last week and were in Idaho about ready to head into Yellowstone.  Our attorney had mentioned that she might be able to get us a court date this week, but honestly I thought that would be a long shot.  Regardless, I took my passport and Malaria pills with me.  Monday about 9AM Shawn ran into our room and woke me up.  He said, "Get up now and call the attorney, she can get us a court date but you have to be in Uganda by Wed".  Usually a trip to Uganda takes about 25-40 hours via plane.  I thought for a brief second, "Could I even make it by Wed" ?  I started looking at fares online and since we were in Idaho I would have to find something leaving from the tiny airport in Idaho Falls.  The fares were about 7grand!  Ouch!  Regardless, we called the lawyer and told her I would be there.  I then remembered the Golden Rule travel agency and did a quick search on them.  After finally piecing together a much cheaper itinerary I had about 45 minutes to pack, shower, get to the bank and be to the airport.  It was seriously insane.  Meantime, Peanut was a little freaked out as I was running around the house (my brother's home) trying to throw things in the suitcase.  Luckily I had brought my passport with me!  I had no driver, lodging or anything arranged and Shawn is working on that for me.  I now sit in the London airport on a 9 hour layover.  My eyes are heavy and I'm already tired, but I feel like this is a miracle and I'm rejoicing in it.  Today so many strangers have done things for me that have eased my mind and burden.  I even got moved on the flight and had 3 seats to myself so I was able to lay down the whole way!  I am still waiting to get an e-mail from Shawn verifying that we still have a court appointment.  I am trusting that God is orchestrating this beautiful symphony.  I am so weary.  This journey has brought me to my knees so many times and I'm praying that this part ends soon.  If all goes well, we will have a hearing quickly and Shawn will then have to fly back and go to the embassy for the visa.  We filled out a paper putting him as the Petitioner which means I cannot go to the appointment, he has to.  He is excited to get back to Uganda, so, I don't think he'll mind.  Please pray for us on this journey!  *****BIG UPDATE*****  I was writing this post while in the airport.  I didn't want to post anything on Facebook or blog until I was safe in Uganda with a secured hearing.  Shawn just chatted me and said I do have a hearing at 9AM.  I arrived at 7:45AM.  I will have to leave my bag and pray for a miracle to bless us to get there in time.  I will be coming off of 40 hours of travel and racing to get there.  I will have never met the grandmother who is giving me her grandson to raise until court.  I am so scared.  Please send out as many prayers as you can muster!  If you know where court is located, try to get ahold of Shawn, he is trying to tell the driver who is picking me up so he can get me to the right place.  This is insanity.  Blessed insanity!

I'm a mess tonight.  We are headed out to Yellowstone tomorrow for our vacation.  When planning this trip for the last 5 months I really believed Joseph would be with us.  I thought it would be a perfect trip for him to bond with the family before the craziness of real life began.  I thought it would be a great time for him to meet his extended family as we visited members on Shawn's side and then ended with a Benson family reunion.  But, God's timing was different. It's a hard pill to swallow, but I have to believe that.   I have this horrible sense of guilt as we head off for this fun and memorable adventure.  I want Joseph with us.  There is little to no chance of getting a court date while we are gone, but, I am packing our documents and passport just in case....................love you Joseph............we're coming soon! 

It's funny, but life keeps turning and turning even when you want it to stop.  I want the world to stop.  I want it to stop and say, "Hey wait, Joseph isn't home yet" and completely stop revolving so that time could stand still.  This summer is going to be very hard.  I've already felt it.  Every adventure, sunset, taste of ice-cream, or funny thing that happens I see Joseph.  I visualize what he would think if he were here.  Would he like Yellowstone?  What would he think when he saw a geyser?  Old Faithful?  How would he react to our loud and crazy family staying together with his 15 cousins?  Would he like smore's or would he find them too sweet.  Pretty soon he will grow up and leave our home.  I just wish he were here building memories before that that day comes way to soon.  On an interesting note:  About a month ago I sent a package to my friend for Joseph.  Her Aunt was going to take it to Uganda and I was to arrange pickup of the package from her and to get it delivered safely to Joseph.  It contained an "album" of family photos, 2 books (from Benson), letters, vitamins, and Joseph's favorite thing in the world, Axe Body Spray.  I told Joseph that he package would be coming.  It was a miracle that he got it.  So many phone calls and drivers and helpers had to be arranged before a pick-up and delivery were successful.  So, on Sunday when we spoke with him he said he got the package but he said, "Mom, there was no perfume (Axe)".  I said, "What about vitamins"? To which he replied, "No medicine or perfume, just 2 novels and an album (the letters were inside).  So, some dork, yes I said dork took my boys vitamins (and Axe)"!  My only thought was, maybe they needed them worse than he did....................oh well, at least he got the rest!

I've had several friends ask for updates.  Things have been seriously so up in the air that I haven't had much to write.  I successfully got Joseph to the doctor twice in the last month thanks to the kindness of two adoptive moms I met through Facebook.  I sucked it up and asked them for their help.  Each of them took the time to help him at the appointment which was such a blessing.  Going to the doctor may sound like an easy task, but, if you could only imagine the effort and small miracles that have to happen to orchestrate an event like that you would be surprised.  I won't go into details, but let's just say that after several money wires and many late night phone calls the appointments finally happened.  Joseph found out at one of the appointments that his vision in his left eye is very poor.  He had no idea!  Now, when you talk to him he says, "My eye is not seeing better" which means, My vision is not good!  He is not excited about glasses, but I told him it will make him a better footballer and he was happy after that.  I also tried to explain contacts, but how do you do that to a boy who hasn't ever had indoor plumbing?  So, he'll just have to wait and find out!  Oh how we miss him.  We are pretty sure that we will not have a court case until at least August.  There are no judges around and courts close July 16th.  We are very disappointed that he will not be home before school starts.  I believe there could be a miracle, but I'm trying to be realistic so I don't get my heart broken.  We had to re-do 100 documents and get them all notarized again.  Total pages sent 200!  It was yet another expensive package.  Can't say much else.  Everyday Shawn and I long to return to Uganda.  He is anticipating taking over a group of men as soon as we are back to normal and Joseph has had time to adjust.  We are so incredibly thankful everyday that God put this boy in our lives.  We love him no differently than our other children and can't wait to show him what a family is like! Hopefully after 10 minutes in the car with the kids he won't want to hop on a plane back to Uganda:) 

Thank you to everyone for their kind words and encouragement.  Many people have asked when Joseph is coming home.  That is a good question.  A month ago I was asked if I could be in Uganda in 3 days, but, as you can see, I'm still here.  Things are up and down everyday.  While this morning a small miracle happened for our case, it seems a big door was closed.  So, although we had hopes of having Joseph home by the end of this month, there is a good chance we won't even have a court hearing until August or later.  With that said, things change on a daily basis.  Since going "public" I've been very strengthened by so many of you dropping words of encourgement.  I guess that's what it means when we talk about bearing one anothers burdens.  I'm so thankful to all of you who are praying for Joseph and his quick arrival home.  Webale!

Well, this is it.  We are going to have 5 children soon.  Nope, I'm not pregant, we are adopting a beautiful boy from Uganda, Africa.   I'm finally ready to share with everyone what we have been working on tirelessy for the last 5 months.  Up to this point we have only shared our intentions of adopting Joseph with family and a few very close friends.  I am usually an open book, willing to share so much about our lives.  I am not a very private person, that is until we embarked on this rollercoaster journey.  There are many reasons I wanted to keep this to ourselves.  I don't know how people will react.  We have had several reactions from the few people we have told varying from very excited to well, let's say less than thrilled.  Some of the reactions are painful.  The stress of what we are dealing with is enough in and of itself and I just didn't think I could deal with anymore hurtful reactions regarding our decision.   Another reason I haven't shared is because my world is constantly falling apart and it's hard to talk about.  People of course mean well, but a casual, "How are things going with the adoption" can kick me in the gut in about 2 seconds flat.  The truth is, about 90% of the time things are not going well. Talking to someone when they "really" want to know is so much easier then when they a want a short answer. I appreciate people asking, don't get me wrong.  But sometimes when things seem to be falling apart, it's hard to talk about.  Another reason I think it's time to be open is because I am not myself and to be honest, I need people to give me a break.  Things that normally seem easy to do or that bring joy are no longer easy.  My days consist of trying to do things almost humanly impossible while sitting on the other side of the world.  There are days I buy a 200 minute phone card to Uganda and use it all in one day.  Every morning I wake up and every evening before bed I spend time on the phone talking to people in Uganda.  Lawyers, doctors, drivers, head masters, teachers, dorm fathers and so on.  Some of the conversations bring me to tears just for the fact that I can't understand about 50% of what is being said because of the language barrier.  I AM NOT MYSELF.  I am sad, I am scared and I'm sorry to those who need me to be more than I can be.  I am fighting for my son day and night and that's just got to be enough for now.  Maybe if I share what we are going through people will understand a little more the stress we are under.  Lastly, and most importantly.  The main reason I haven't wanted to share is because of the fear that this isn't going to work out.  First, I don't think I could live with myself after telling Joseph that he is going to have a family only to realize he's still an orphan sitting alone in Uganda!  Second, if it does fail, I will have less people that know, thus less painful conversations.  But, what I've realized is that by fearing those things I am completely laughing in the face of my Maker.  I am telling him, "I don't want to tell people because I don't trust you enough".  I have had faith through all of this, but if I really believe it, then why not share it?  It will work out, he will come home.  I can no longer live in fear of that.  God will finish what he started.  If I believe that, I wouldn't be afraid to talk about the adoption.  This is hard.  It is the hardest thing I've ever done in my life.   I only ask that those who love us, will love our boy.  He is ours.  God granted us the gift to have him become a part of our family.  He is a blessing to us and we feel honored to have him as a son.  So, there it is.  This is why I've been acting funny, stressed, crazed, forgetful, and many other unpleasant adjectives.  Joseph is ours.  This is no different to us than fighting for Benson, Brinlee, Beau or Blaire and we will continue to fight until we can no longer walk, run or stand.