I'm a mess tonight.  We are headed out to Yellowstone tomorrow for our vacation.  When planning this trip for the last 5 months I really believed Joseph would be with us.  I thought it would be a perfect trip for him to bond with the family before the craziness of real life began.  I thought it would be a great time for him to meet his extended family as we visited members on Shawn's side and then ended with a Benson family reunion.  But, God's timing was different. It's a hard pill to swallow, but I have to believe that.   I have this horrible sense of guilt as we head off for this fun and memorable adventure.  I want Joseph with us.  There is little to no chance of getting a court date while we are gone, but, I am packing our documents and passport just in case....................love you Joseph............we're coming soon!