I left this post untitled because I don't know what to title it.  Some of the options I played around with were, "Soggy in Seattle", "No News is Not Good News", "Down in the Dumps".  But, since I didn't think any of those would get my readers attention I left the title blank.  That's not so say that all of the titles would not suffice to describe my feelings today.  Maybe it has something to do with the constant rain that's been leaking from the sky for the past month, maybe it's the daily and nightly phone calls to Uganda hoping to get answers but rarely having anyone pick up the line.  I think today I'm letting go of the hope I had to get Joseph home by this summer.  There are so many reasons that I wanted this to happen and it's hard to let those dreams go.  I'm also deeply affected today by a yet another friends baby having their first birthday in an orphanage.  I think about Joseph who until we got his records did not even know how old he was or when his birthday was.  When he comes home I want to throw a party to make up for all of those lost birthdays.  I know that our situation is by far not the worst as far as difficulty goes, but today I just need to feel the sadness, let it soak in and then tomorrow I will be stronger.  Happy Birthday to all the babies and children out there who don't even know it's their birthday today. 

I'm so grateful for a friend who arranged to have someone bring a package with her to Uganda for Joseph.  My mom was so nice and made a scrapbook of all the Benson relatives so that Joseph could get to know all of the Benson side of the family.  I think there are about 32 of us so he has a lot to learn.  He will have 13 more on Shawn's side!  That's a lot of people.  I'm also tucking in some vitamins................I am a mom!  Benson sent a couple of books............Notice anything interesting about our family picture???? Thanks to my dad for his photo shop skills!

-Visa's are being issued!
-Beau got antibiotics for his strep throat! So grateful we have access to medicine
-We don't have a LG order with the wrong words
-We have amazing kids who have a heart for the poor and needy
-My kids are all healthy
-Shawn has a great job
-I'm alive!

I'd love to hear from anyone who is following the blog.  Drop us a comment and send a hug.  I see lots of visits but don't know who is out there. 

Today has been a little hard.   Shawn talked to the lawyer and he said he tried to meet with our judge and she sent her clerk to tell him to go away.  I don't know what that means.  My hopes of getting Joseph home before courts close seems to be fading.  Today I gathered so much strength by thinking about the women beaders in the IDP camps that our foundation helps support.  I thought about their struggles, HIV, poverty, lack of water, education, food, being widowed, war, loss of children.  What on earth do I have to be sad about?  Yes, there is a hole in my heart and I know it's normal to be sad when things get difficult in this adoption, but really if I take my mind back to the beautiful, resilent women I met when we traveled in January I can't feel sad for long.  They give me so much courage.  Today I honor each and every one of them and I pledge to continue helping them through the work I do with our foundation.  I can't wait to see them again!

I just ran across this photo.  This is the moment I met Joseph.  He was playing football and I walked by.  I asked if I could join in (I'm not hard to miss in this picture, the only white, female out there).  Anway, we played with a ball made out of sacks and Josehp and I ended up conecting on some great plays.  That's where I met this sweet boy!  In fact, the one year anniversary is coming up any day now!