Today has been a little hard.   Shawn talked to the lawyer and he said he tried to meet with our judge and she sent her clerk to tell him to go away.  I don't know what that means.  My hopes of getting Joseph home before courts close seems to be fading.  Today I gathered so much strength by thinking about the women beaders in the IDP camps that our foundation helps support.  I thought about their struggles, HIV, poverty, lack of water, education, food, being widowed, war, loss of children.  What on earth do I have to be sad about?  Yes, there is a hole in my heart and I know it's normal to be sad when things get difficult in this adoption, but really if I take my mind back to the beautiful, resilent women I met when we traveled in January I can't feel sad for long.  They give me so much courage.  Today I honor each and every one of them and I pledge to continue helping them through the work I do with our foundation.  I can't wait to see them again!

I just ran across this photo.  This is the moment I met Joseph.  He was playing football and I walked by.  I asked if I could join in (I'm not hard to miss in this picture, the only white, female out there).  Anway, we played with a ball made out of sacks and Josehp and I ended up conecting on some great plays.  That's where I met this sweet boy!  In fact, the one year anniversary is coming up any day now!

Shawn just called the attorney and he still hasn't talked to his "associate"  So, he said call back in two hours.  Shawn is going to set his alarm and call.  Hope we get some news.

Today I was in Safeway and my  tummy started rumbling and I thought, "I'll get a Jamba Juice".  I looked up at the menu and saw "Mango a-go-go". The ingredients were mango, pineapple and passionfruit juice.  I was feeling a bit down so I splurged and ordered one.  I picked the Mango drink because the fruits remind me of my beloved Uganda.  The liquid slid up the straw and as it touched my tongue so many senses came to life.  I was there!  I was back in Uganda sipping passionfruit juice.  I was eating the sweetest pineapple from the side of the road.  Tears stung my eyes as my senses completely grabbed ahold of me and threatened to sink me.  I got it together quickly and went about my day.  But, just for a moment I felt like I was home. 

Last night while praying I couldn't help but chuckle when Benson said this:

Benson: "Dear Heavenly Father, We pray that the dumb people at the embassy without brains in their heads will start issuing visas.  We pray for all the people who are suffering in the world. We're grateful for etc, etc etc". 

Out of the mouth of babes! I couldn't be mad at him as he is frustrated too.  It must have worked because visa's are going to be issued again.  The problem now is our court hearing.  Still waiting to hear.  Shawn tried to call our attorney for about 4 hours this AM but couldn't get him. We'll call tonight and hopefully have an update. 

The attorney sent an "associate" to meet with the judge.  Whether the meeting ever happened today is unclear.  The attorney and his associate never crossed paths again.  Shawn will call in the AM.

I have been thinking a lot about patience lately.  This something I came across that is helping me through this.

"Patience is not passive resignation, nor is it failing to act because of our fears.  Patience means active waiting and enduring.  It means staying with something and doing all that we can-working, hoping and exercising faith; bearing hardship with fortitude, and even when the desires of our hearts are delayed.  Patience is not simply enduring; it is enduring well"!  Deiter  Uchtdorf

I wonder how well I am doing at this.  This quote has given me something to chew on for sure, and has helped get me back on track.

Today I'm looking and choosing to find things good in all of this!  I received a nice call from my dad yesterday.  After telling him what was going on with this roller coaster he said something like, "Just remember you're fighting for  one of your kids now".  I thought, "He gets it"!  How affirming to know that your own dad believes in what you are doing.  He is so open minded and has been such a help through this.  He's a quiet guy, but every time I see him he'll say, "How's my grandson"?  Today I'm grateful for my dad.  Grateful that he is willing to hop on a plane at the last minute to help me bring Joseph one step closer to coming home.  Grateful that he "gets it".  Joseph is ours.  We are committed to him.  This is no different then if we were fighting for any of our other kids.  Love Ya Dad!  I know you don't read the blog, but just the same I hope you can feel my gratitude when we're together.